A classic short from the public domain! (And featured on RiffTrax Live Online!)
Do you find yourself in a constant state of niggling self criticism, e.g., "I bet everyone is laughing at me just because I have a waffle stuck to my back", or "I know it's the right thing to do, but will people look down on me because I jar, meticulously label and store my urine in the root cellar?"

Shyness—for years it has prevented boys from becoming men and girls from landing men. How can shyness be conquered? By imitating those who are better than you: the popular children. This is the advice that the New Kid in School receives from his father...
1977 / Directed by George Lucas / Starring Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (Marin County, to be exact) George Lucas sparked up his favorite bong, kicked back in a bean bag chair and several gurgles later came up with the idea that would become the greatest movie of all time.*
Can't anyone tell me what Christmas is all about!? an exasperated Charlie Brown once asked. Well, pace Linus van Pelt, the true meaning of Christmas—according to Christmas Toyshop—is a criminally incompetent father, a drug-dispensing demon of the night, and a bored and detached Santa who spins magic mushroom induced fables to two captive children...
2004 / Directed by Alfonso Cuaron / Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Gary Oldman
Summer is over—time to get back to evil school with Harry, Hermione, Ron, Sirius Black, Mrs. McGonagall, Filch, Splat, Wang, Timothy Q. Diaperhat, Professor Waddle Von Funkenskull, The Right Reverend Boo Smoothandle, Dr. and Mrs. Walrus V. Chowderboot and all the rest!
2008 / Directed by Christopher Nolan / Starring Christian Bale, Heath Ledger
If you can spare a minute, think back on the greatest work of cinema that you have ever seen. Did you think about The Dark Knight? No? Then you are a moron. Because while you were out doing whatever it is morons do...demolition derbies or...croquet, (we wouldn't know, we loved The Dark Knight)...
The story of the Hulk is a complex one but we can know a few things for sure: Hulk smash and... well, that's about it. The Ed Norton version doesn't add much new information (Hulk smash, we already knew that), nor did Ang Lee's (Hulk bore.)
A hilarious public-domain "health" short! (Runtime: 13:38)
You think you don't have syphilis, but how do really know? Has anyone you trust told you you don't have it? Have you been in contact with anyone from a big city in, say, the last year? Then you almost certainly have it! Talk to your doctor immediately, or at the very least, a silver-haired white guy with an authoritative voice.
2003 / Directed by Bryan Singer / Starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart
All your favorite X-people return as Magneto, Cerebro, Pyro, Columbo, Tonto, Pinocchio, and Jell-O do battle to determine who can look more ludicrous. Everyone wins! And because these are officially the silliest roles ever created we are lucky to have British and Australian actors stepping in to do the jobs Americans won't do.
A classic short from the public domain!
For many of us, Good Eating Habits boil down to a simple rule: avoid any food whose name ends in "-ator" or "-o-rama". But fifty years ago, in an era food historians refer to as "Pre GoGurt", what constituted a Good Eating Habit wasn't as widely known...
2008 / Steven Spielberg / Harrison Ford / Shia LaBeouf / Cate Blanchett / Karen Allen
A classic short from the public domain!
Washing your hands after using the restroom - most of us only do so because a fellow co-worker is in the bathroom with us, and we wonder if he'll tell other people if we don't. But evidently, we should be doing this even when a co-worker isn't there.
2008/M. Night Shyamalan/Mark Wahlberg/Zooey Deschanel/John Leguizamo
2008/Jon Favreau/ Robert Downey Jr./Terrence Howard/Jeff Bridges/Gwyneth Paltrow
In the tradition of I, Robot comes I, Ronman, the story of a shy college student who is bitten by a radioactive guy named Ron. Our hero's DNA is transformed, his body taking on the attributes of Ron until - hang on.
If you were told you were about to see a film that contained turtles bigger than men, cliff-diving Mexicans and a family that eats Thanksgiving dinner underwater, you'd probably complain "But I don't like David Lynch!" Wrong you would be!
1987/Emile Ardolino/Jennifer Grey/Patrick Swayze/Jerry Orbach
2004 / Dir. by Roland Emmerich / Starring Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal
2003 / Directed by Gore Verbinski / Starring Johnny Depp
The most adorable pirates you've ever seen take to the high seas to do battle with an army of walking skeletons to see who is thinner. With a team consisting of Keira Knightley, Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom they can't possibly lose!
2004 / Directed by Sam Raimi / Starring Tobey Maguire
2001/Steven Soderbergh/Brad Pitt/ George Clooney/ Bernie Mac

